Shoe wearer and NBA player Kevin Durant unveiled his latest pair of kicks yesterday, which looked like your standard pair of kicks until BAM:
On the sole is perhaps the most obnoxious and petty shoe design I’ve ever seen. Written in black are some of the several words and phrases that former teammates, fans, and talking heads have used over the past 14 or so months since Kevin Durant decided to leave the Oklahoma City Thunder to join the Golden State Warriors despite just having a 3-1 lead on them in the Conference Finals (people forget that).
They’ve called him a snake, a KowarD, a traitor, a follower, a choker, and a sellout. They’ve said that he doesn’t care about the fans and instead decided to join the team that he couldn’t beat, and breaking up the most electric duo in the game in him and Russell Westbrook.
Durant heard the hisses and insults all year and ended up becoming the 2017 Finals MVP. They had an improbable 16-1 run in the playoffs and KD dropped 30+ in all 5 games in the Finals against LeBron. And boy is he not going to let anybody forget that with the yellow writing on the sole of his new sneakers.
So that had me thinking. Why can’t I stand up to the haters in my own petty manner? I’ve been called a bunch of things over my life, and goddammit I’ve had enough. I’m a well-accomplished 22 year old MAN and I’m no longer standing for anybody’s shit.
They’ve called me lazy, they’ve called me selfish, some have said I can’t even commit. I’m not a role model, shoutout Charles Barkley.
I’ve had people complain that I’m not 6’0″. That I’m a washed up, unemployed loser. Well that’s it. I’m literally going to take these insults in stride with me in solidarity with Kevin Durant. We’re just a couple of misunderstood dudes.
Just last year, I got an A in BIO100. I hadn’t taken a science course since my junior year of high school in 2011. I step into BIO100 in 2017 and I aced that shit easier than that movie with Emma Stone. Since you mentioned high school, my track team won the conference championship in 2012 and I’m not going to let you haters forget it. I also scored 4 TDs that year, not to brag.
I’ll also tell you that I’m Funemployed (but slowly dying and considering grad school to further put off joining the real world). And one time in August 2015 I was a whole 25 minutes early to work.
So, like Kevin Durant, I have learned to use my weaknesses as my strengths by literally inscribing them in my
sole soul. I look forward to adding more of my accomplishments in the future.
P.S. Kevin Durant has come a long way in the shoe designing industry.