I love gambling. And I love Game of Thrones. So when I hopped on the Internet today and saw that I could bet on who is going to be sitting on the Iron Throne at the end of season 7 I couldn’t resist. Since I’m a man of the people I’ll walk you through some of the bets I made today so that you too can break the Iron Bank of Braavos.

But first and foremost, lets get in the mood to make money with some Weezy & T-Pain. GoT money….get it. GoT. Whatever.

Also, I guess I have to say spoiler warning.

 

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Cersei Lannister – 10/13

The baddest bitch in Kings Landing is the heavy favorite to keep her seat for the whole season. We’ve had Robert Baratheon, Joffrey Baratheon, Tommen Baratheon, and Cersei all sit on the Iron Throne in just 6 seasons, and the oddsmakers think that Cersei will make it while facing enemies from North, East, South, and West? Brazy.

Lets also not forget the Valonqar prophecy that the crazy lady in the woods told Cersei when she was a little girl. She told her that she would become Queen (check), there will be a more beautiful Queen after her (check) have three children (check), that they will die before her (check), and finally, said that Cersei will die at the hands of a “Valonqar” which is believed to mean little brother. Cersei of course has two little brothers, Jamie, who has remained a little too loyal to her over the years, and Tyrion. Cersei of course ostracized Tyrion and tried to get him killed/banished multiple times, thinking that he would be the one to end up killing her. I, however, think otherwise. This was the look Jamie Lannister gave Cersei upon seeing her sit on the Iron Throne for the first time.

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That’s the look of a man that’s about to kill his crazy sister to save the people of King’s Landing. You can call Jamie a bunch of things, but can’t call him sexist, he’ll slay you whether you’re a King or a Queen. I wouldn’t bet on her. Plus you can continue to hate watch her.

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Daenerys Targaryen – 8/5

Somehow the Westeros Smokeshow of the Millennium who has three dragons the size of Boeing 747s is an underdog to sit on the Iron Throne. After 6 seasons of taking names and freeing slaves, we finally saw Dany begin to sail West. She has a horde of Dothraki lunatics, the Unsullied army, the Hand of the Queen in Tyrion Lannister, a master spy in Varys, and a newfound alliance with House Tyrell and the Sand Snakes. Also dragons. Don’t forget the dragons. At 8/5 you can get a nice return if you lay down a couple bucks on her.

The concern with Daenerys is that she may continue to go North if and when she runs into Jon Snow and learns about the real enemy beyond the Wall. When she went into the House of the Undying she saw herself nearly touch the Iron Throne while snow/ash was falling and instead turned around and ended up walking out on the other side of the Wall. Perhaps she takes over King’s Landing but immediately packs up and goes to take on the White Walkers with her dragons, who I believe can kill Walkers and wights with their fire.

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Gendry – 7/2

Dude’s been rowing a boat since Season 3 and is the 3rd favorite to sit on the Iron Throne when it’s all said and done. The last known bastard of former King Robert Baratheon, Gendry cheated death about a half dozen times, ending up in Dragonstone where Melisandre seduced him just to tie him up and take his royal blood with leeches. After imprisoning him, Ser Davos Seaworth freed Gendry and sent him back to King’s Landing in a rowboat. Gendry explained that he couldn’t swim, nor had he ever been in a rowboat, so there is a decent chance that he’s already dead or ended up somewhere else. But, as we learned with The Hound, never assume that a character is dead unless you see it on the screen.

I might be reading the tea leaves too much, but in the official trailers, this circle of what I’m assuming is an awesome ensemble of Jon Snow, Tormund Giantsbane, Brienne of Tarth, The Brotherhood Without Banners, etc is shown at the end multiple times. You can barely make out what’s going on with all the snow, so I’m assuming that they are super North of the Wall. Perhaps a mission to the Land of Always Winter? Maybe trying to find a real life wight or White Walker to prove to the rest of Westeros that this in fact is a thing? Anyways, it looks like everyone in the circle has swords or daggers. Except for the guy I circled. Looks like a war hammer, eh? Robert Baratheon famously used a war hammer during Robert’s Rebellion. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. Gendry is an expert blacksmith. I don’t know, man. This is a high risk high reward bet, but it would be awesome. Gendry and Arya atop the Seven Kingdoms?

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Jon Snow – 10/1

This will be a popular bet, but I think it’s a bad one. He has died before, and I think it might happen again. I think George R. R. Martin and the show writers have more tricks up their sleeve than having the people’s champ end up atop the Iron Throne happily ever after. He’d need a suitable Queen, as well. His Aunt, Daenerys? I honestly could see Sansa or Bran atop the Throne before Jon. This guy has a lot on his plate regarding his foes on the other side of the Wall and I think he’ll be tied up for awhile. You could convince me that he’d be sitting on the Throne at the end of Season 8, but this season is definitely going to end with Jon in the North. So, unless they bring the Iron Throne up there, it’s not going to happen.

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Tyrion Lannister – 10/1

In theory, Tyrion would have a legitimate claim of the Iron Throne if both Cersei and Jamie died. So, if Cersei and Jamie have some weird incestual Romeo & Juliet ending, Tyrion could defy the odds and be a motherfuckin’ (P)IMP. I don’t think it’s too likely, seeing as he is currently serving at Daenery’s Hand of the Queen, and that wouldn’t be very handy of him.

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Yara Greyjoy – 45/1

This one is interesting. Yara is a badass that hazes Theon to binge drink and enjoys “fucking the tits off” broads. She met with Daenerys at the end of Season 6 and explained the situation with the Greyjoys and Euron coming with his own fleet of ships and his “big cock.” She explained that Euron would have a marriage demand, to which Dany replied “and I imagine your offer is free of any marriage demands.” Yara said that she wouldn’t demand, but she’s up for anything. A pair of Queens in King’s Landing? It could happen. The two had a bond during that scene and have both been with women before (Dany learned how to bang by the Dothraki women). Yara does appear to get down and dirty with Ellaria Sand in the trailer, though:

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Do keep in mind, however, of the last person Ellaria Sand kissed. She poisoned Myrcella Baratheon with a kiss right before Jamie took her back on the boat to King’s Landing. The other person she kissed on camera was Oberyn Martell (The Viper) who famously got his skull crushed in by The Mountain. Maybe not a good idea, Yara.

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Euron Greyjoy – 80/1

Euron Greyjoy, King of the dick jokes. Maybe his dick wits will get him atop the Iron Throne? Euron is still a wild card on the show. He came in, fucked shit up, and left, and is building hundreds of ships to chase down and murder his niece and nephew. He is hell bent on giving Daenerys his “big cock” and aims to marry her. The trailers revealed a large naval battle which very well could be a Greyjoy civil war. If Euron (and whatever weapons he has from his worldly travels) is victorious, he may force Dany’s hand into marrying him. Either that, or Dany willingly marries him in a long con. I think this could be a very good bet.

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Jorah Mormont – 160/1

Jorah was last exiled by Daenerys to find a cure for his Greyscale, and was promised a position next to her if and when he is successful. The only known cure for Greyscale was when Stannis Baratheon brought in every maester in Westeros to cure his daughter Shireen. With both of them being dead, there aren’t many leads as to what the cure is and who knows it. One hope is that Samwell Tarly learns the cure at the Citadel and somehow runs into Jorah around there. Samwell’s brother and father are out to find him and the family sword that he stole, so perhaps Jorah will defend Samwell and the pair will bond over mutual hatred for their fathers. Then, Samwell could serve as a medium between Daenerys and Jon Snow, giving us all the encounter we’ve long been waiting for.  As for becoming King, Dany knows that Jorah is in love with her and would do anything for her, maybe at the end of it all she’ll go back to her Day 1.

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Bronn of the Blackwater – 200/1

Bronn might be my favorite character in all of Game of Thrones. He’s a quick witted former sell sword that loves a good joke and a good drink. He’s been loyal to the Lannisters since the beginning, even fighting for Tyrion’s life at the Eyrie and winning despite “not fighting with honor.” If something were to happen to Cersei, Jamie might be interested in getting his old buddy Bronn into King’s Landing to rule. Jamie refused to rule Casterly Rock when he was younger, and expressed zero interest in even becoming the Hand of the King. I think he’d pass up an opportunity to be King, having seen so many come and go in his days. Bronn’s mantra is to drink until it feels like he did the right thing, and I can get behind that.