It’s been about three weeks since the rally dildo and Matt Harvey had a competition to see who was a bigger dick and things had been quiet…..too quiet ever since. Enter: Mr. Met. After enduring a rough 7-1 loss Wednesday night vs. the Brewers, Mr. Met exited the stadium giving some fans a classic New York good morning which will now be forever enshrined in the internet streets:

Now, listen. There are a lot of things to dive into here. First of all, Mr. Met has only four fingers. So, in theory, Mr. Met has two middle fingers and should be cleared of all charges. If Mr. Met really wanted to have the last laugh with the fans, he should’ve given the peace sign, as it would serve as a double middle finger. Just some food for thought.

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Mr. Met won’t get away with this because of the corresponding bras d’honneur. However, that’s what makes me love this move. It 10000% confirms that there’s a super Italian New Yorker underneath that head that’s sick of dealing with other Italian New Yorkers in the stands yelling at Mr. Met as if he has anything to do with the on field production. The bras d’honneur is a criminally underused way of saying “fuck you” and you’re wrong if you don’t think I’m going to incorporate the move into my everyday repertoire.

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Another thing to consider is that this video conveniently captures Mr. Met turning around and flipping off the camera in a small 3-second window. Almost as if there was something preceding the action in question that caused it. The Wednesday night post blowout loss at Citi Field crowd certainly isn’t the same as the Sunday morning crowd at the chapel. As we see in viral videos and even football games, it’s often the second guy that gets caught in the act.  Unfortunately for Mr. Met, the man behind the mask lived out his final day.

^ I for one think that the Mets should tweet out that apology after every loss. I’m not even sure if the employee in question is Mr. Met and not Jacob deGrom after he laid an egg on Wednesday. The Mets should tweet that out after every time Ray Ramirez lays his evil hands on any player. They should tweet that out every time Terry Collins overthinks and overuses his bullpen as it blows up in his face. They should tweet that after every time they send a hitter with a sub .200 average to the plate. They should tweet that after their starting shortstop drops a popup to give up the lead. They should just start off every day tweeting their apologies to show that they care.

About that shortstop thing….didn’t know the Mets got Luis Castillo back:

That error revamped the discussion of when, not if Amed Rosario will be called up to the big leagues. Rosario is currently on a 17-game hitting streak in AAA and is hitting .357 on the year. He’s got 5 HRs, 38 RBIs, and 11 SBs. He’s the real deal and could become one of, if not the best SS in this window of talent. What’s holding him back is something called the ‘Super 2 deadline.’ I’ll spare the boring details but basically it’s a business decision that the Mets are making the delay arbitration with Rosario for an extra year, aka the Mets save millions of dollars headed into the 2020 season. The date varies by team and isn’t etched in stone, but the word on the street is that the date that he magically becomes available is no more than 10 days ago. Godspeed. One disclaimer with Rosario: his fielding isn’t his strong suit. He’s a career .952 fielder and has already committed 9 errors this season. Sure, he may not have dropped the ball that Cabrera dropped on Tuesday, but he’s not a sure thing out there, either. Granted, his speed and athleticism allow him to reach balls that would otherwise go into the outfield, which in turn increases the likelihood of committing an error. Amed Rosario is what Jose Reyes wishes he could be. I’m not overselling him I swear.

Once Rosario is a full-time Met, the dominoes will start to fall. Jose Reyes and his .197 average will find a spot on the bench as the platoon player that he was signed to be. People forget that he signed for the veteran’s minimum to show he still has gas in the tank. It looks like he’s running on fumes. Rosario’s emergence would allow Asdrubal to play 3rd, where he can rely on his hands and less on his recessing athleticism to make defensive plays.

The Good:

Yoenis Cespedes and Jay Bruce are currently 9th and 10th in the NL All-Star outfielders race. Cespedes of course is still injured but there’s a decent chance that he’ll be the lone Mets representative at the midsummer classic. Jay Bruce on the other hand is a much more worthy candidate and realistically should be around 7th place on this list. Cubs fans are ballot stuffing like a bunch of motherfuckers as Kyle Schwarber’s .174 average belongs nowhere on this list, let alone 5th.

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This Cubs nonsense reminds me of 2015 when Royals fans scared everybody by having Omar Infante in the lead way too late in the voting process.

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Tyler Pill was in line for the win on his first career start on Tuesday after going 5 1/3, tallying 4 Ks, and giving up only 1 run. He prides himself on stranding runners on the bases which basically makes him a living breathing blood pressure accelerator. With the disaster that is the Tommy Milone experiment, a solid start from Pill was a breath of fresh air.

The Great:

Michael Conforto is in fact good. He’s batting .316 and has an OBP at least 70 points higher than everybody in the lineup not named Lucas Duda. He’s been acting as both the table setter and the table cleaner, and he’s been dynamite in the field.

^ That’s baseball, Suzyn.

Reinforcements are coming. Steven Matz threw 5 perfect innings in AAA. The belief is that he’ll start once more in AAA and then he’ll be back where he belongs. Seth Lugo’s rehab starts haven’t gone as well, but he’s on about the same schedule as Matz. Hopefully they can have an immediate impact and some of the bums in the bullpen will be sent far far away.

Neil Walker’s bat woke up when he played his former team in Pittsburgh, and he recorded his 1,000th career hit on Tuesday. His average is up to .264, and he already has 4 more doubles than he had all of last year.

Bryce Harper, not good at fighting:

Is there anything more American than watching Bryce Harper get pummeled on a casual Memorial Day afternoon? I think not.

The Bad:

Bases loaded, no outs, down one run against the worst team in all of baseball and their new closer, can you guess what happened next?

Granderson had an awful at-bat in which I was getting physically ill. He’s picked up the pace at the plate a little bit, as he’s finally up over the Mendoza line at .201. I’m not going to applaud him until he learns how to hit the breaking ball that crosses the plate from a lefty and when he learns to lay off the sinking inside pitch from a righty. If I didn’t know that he used to hit 40+ bombs a year I’d call you crazy. Granderson has to make contact in that situation. Two players that are on the team for their glove were up next in Rene Rivera and Juan Lagares. Situational baseball, Curtis has to know what the deal is.

Yoenis Cespedes suffered a setback rehabbing in single-A and isn’t expected to be back on the team for another week or so. In a perfect world, he’ll return by June 6th when he can DH against the Rangers, but who knows at this point.

The Ugly:

The Mets have acquired two pitchers this year in Tommy Milone and Neil Ramirez. They’ve both been so terrible that I’d prefer Kevin Plawecki go out there and throw knuckleballs again. Milone has an ERA of 10.50 in 3 starts and found himself on the DL. Ramirez is clocking in with a 6.23 ERA and has walked 7 batters in 4 1/3 innings.

It is now June 1st and the Mets are 9.5 games behind the Nationals in the NL East. It’s June 1st and the Mets are dangerously close to playing for the Wild Card. Luckily for the Mets, they are only 8 games behind the Diamondbacks for the 2nd Wild Card spot. It’s going to be a steep climb up to the top.

Tim Tebow:

Tebow was just in a huge 0-13 slump but busted out of it with this RBI double. He’s hitting .215 on the year with 3 homers. His bold strategy of only hitting the ball the opposite way may need to be adjusted if he has aspirations of moving up in the organization.

 

Well, that’s all for this version of the NYMSOTU. Stay tuned as the Mets try their hardest to disprove the theory that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Zack Wheeler will take the mound on Thursday afternoon as the Mets will try to take 3 out of the 4 games against the Brewers. The Brewers will send out Chase Anderson, a pitcher that Lucas Duda, Juan Lagares, and Michael Conforto all have had success off of during their careers. After that, the Pirates come into town as Neil Walker will look forward to continuing his revenge tour against his former team. Until next time, just remember that every thug needs a lady.

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