As we all know, Google is a massive Internet company that probably has everything that we’ve ever searched in some secret folder waiting to be sold to the highest bidder. But that’s not the story here. Google Trends is apparently a thing that exists and they released a map of the most misspelled words in America by state. Some were shocking, some reaffirmed stereotypes, and others just made no sense at all. Lets take a closer look at some of the most misspelled words in America.

Northeast Region:

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Connecticut & West Virginia: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 

As the resident Connecticut writer for The Dart, you can picture my displeasure that 1. CT shared a word with West Virginia of all states, and 2. that we’re stuck in Nineteen Sixty Fucking Four:

Pennsylvania: Sauerkraut

It should be a crime punishable by death if you live in Pennsylvania, the birthplace of Primanti Brothers, and don’t know how to spell one of their main ingredients.

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Vermont: Europe

It appears that last year’s election results drove a rapid increase of Vermonters looking up the price of living in Europe (VT has been a blue state since the 1992 election).

New Hampshire: Diarrhea 

Remind me not to eat in New Hampshire. Ironic that NH’s state motto is “Live Free or Die” because I may choose the latter if I was faced with chronic diarrhea. My man Walter White was so sick of the diarrhea that came with living in New Hampshire that he willingly left his humble abode to return to New Mexico where he was a wanted man by federal agencies, drug cartels, and white supremacists.

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Delaware: Hallelujah

No sales tax in Delaware would certainly make me say Hallelujah. You’ll say the same after surviving a night at The Starboard, as well.

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Southeast Region:

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Florida: Receipt

This one actually makes a lot of sense considering Florida’s history of star QBs walking out of grocery stores without paying for crab legs.

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Mississippi: Hughfreezeprison

Ole Miss football coach is still under investigation for various recruiting violations and my only guess is that Mississippi State fans are searching ‘hughfreezeprison’ as wishful thinking. I’m kind of shocked that ‘Mississippi’ wasn’t the top word.

Arkansas & South Carolina: Chihuahua 

Did the South revive Taco Bell’s late 90’s commercials with the chihuahuas? We may soon find out.

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Louisiana: Giraffe

While the nation was captivated by April the giraffe’s pregnancy in Zoo York this year, Sara the giraffe flew under the radar by giving birth to Nala in Folsom, Louisiana. The race to see which giraffe would give birth first drew wild Google numbers out of Louisiana.

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Kentucky: Beautiful

Jennifer Lawrence is from Louisville. Next.

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West Region:

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New Mexico: Banana

That shit is bananas. Bananaland, if you will. New Mexico is acting like Gwen Stefani didn’t give us all a lifelong spelling lesson in 2004:

Nevada: Available

It’s almost like a bunch of drunk people are looking for things/people that are available and need Google to put the pieces together for them.

Alaska: Schedule

If there wasn’t daylight for months at a time I’d start looking for a schedule and structure in my life as well.

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Hawaii: People

Hawaiians are indigenous and can probably spell ‘indigenous’ before they can spell ‘people’ because they hate mainlanders. And damn it I respect it.

 

Others:

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Wisconsin: Wisconsin

T-Pain said that he wanted to put his girl in a mansion somewhere in Wiscansin back in 2008 and WI hasn’t been the same since.

 

 

There you have it. I hoped you learned something new today. If not, at least you’re about a half hour closer to the weekend. I’ll #StickToSports next time.