Playoff hockey, there really is nothing else in sports that can compare the anxiety and thrill that come along with watching these games play out. I would compare it to that of being a teenager and having a family member walking in on you rubbing one out, but it really wasn’t a family member, it was your girlfriend, that might be your step-sister, but never mind she’s actually just your girlfriend, with no relation whatsoever. The highs and lows of playoff hockey are nothing like anything else in sports.32336394

As we are rapidly approaching the puck drop of Game 1 in a playoff series where the Washington Capitals faceoff against the Pittsburgh Penguins, I wanted to just take a minute to recognize the head to head matchup of two greats. Now while I personally hate both of these teams, there is no hiding the fact that we are about to witness, yet again, another thrill ride of series between these two Eastern Conference powerhouses. Crosby one side, Ovechkin on the other.


First let me dive balls deep into The Penguins and Captain Sydney Crosby. Playing these assholes in the playoffs is like rubbing balls against broken glass, while it sucks and is extremely painful, some people can get through it, while most will eventually pull up. Having a guy like Sydney Crosby leading your team in the playoffs is nothing short of a cheat code. This guy has made the playoffs for most of the years that he’s been in the NHL, and he’s gone and won it all twice, most recently last year. Syd is the type of guy that can score from anywhere on the Ice, and is one of the best floppers in the league. So, you can bet your ass there will be some top-notch power plays and nasty goals from the Penguins this round, but let’s not forget the choke-artists on the other side as well.


Alexander Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals could have more misfortune than any other team in the NHL. These guys have won the Presidents Trophy 2 times in the last 10 years, but can’t seem to figure out how to get past the Eastern Conference Semi-finals. I’m convinced that it is because Ovechkin has been shaving his pubes every year during the playoffs, but who am I. Nevertheless, the Capitals are not a team to mess with. When your captain has the potential to lead league in goals, hits, and +/- every year, then you’re in pretty good shape. While I firmly believe that the Captials are going to lose this series in 6 games, it is going to be nothing short of a dog fight….I’m talking Pitbull’s from a Mexican fighting ring, not like the Puggle fight we just saw with the Senators and Bruins.


As mentioned, Penguins in 6. But let’s not stray away from the fact that the Rangers are the team that is coming out of the Eastern Conference this year. The Caps and Penguins are going to do an absolute number on each other, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the team advancing leaves with a key player on the IR. In closing, Crosby is a bitch, Ovechkin can’t read, Let’s Go Rangers.


-Newport News