I have nothing to say about the events that transpired last night in Houston. Nothing to say regarding Matt Ryan snapping the ball up 8 points with 20+ seconds on the play clock with 5 minutes left in the game. Nothing to say about the Falcons continuing to pass and subsequently being hit with a holding penalty to take them out of field goal range. Nothing to say about Devonta Freeman blatantly forgetting to block a blitzing Dont’a Hightower.

Nothing to say about Robert Alford mistiming his jump and tipping an errant Tom Brady pass right into Julian Edelman’s fingertips an inch above the ground. Nothing to say about Dan Quinn challenging that call with 2:03 on the clock, gift-wrapping the Patriots an extra play before the two minute warning. Nothing to say about the Falcons throwing to FULLBACK Patrick DiMarco during the 2 minute drill. Nothing to say about Vic Beasley Jr. mistiming another jump to barely deflect a pass away from Martellus Bennett in the end zone. I have nothing to say. I haven’t seen a worse choke job since Hillary Clinton the Cleveland Indians The Golden State Warriors Globo Gym blew a 4-1 man lead to The Average Joes during the American Dodgeball Association of America International Dodgeball Competition.

ANYWAYS.

There obviously is no bigger story in the sporting world than the fact that pitchers and catchers start reporting to their respective teams starting February 12th. Here are the important dates for all 30 teams:

2017 Grapefruit League Reporting Dates

Team Pitchers & Catchers First Workout Position Players First Workout Location
Astros February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 W Palm Beach
Blue Jays February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Dunedin
Braves February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Orlando
Cardinals February 14 February 14 February 17 February 17 Jupiter
Marlins February 14 February 14 February 17 February 17 Jupiter
Mets February 12 February 14 February 17 February 19 Port St. Lucie
Nationals February 14 February 16 February 17 February 19 W Palm Beach
Orioles February 14 February 17 Sarasota
Phillies February 13 February 14 February 16 February 17 Clearwater
Pirates February 14 February 17 Bradenton
Rays February 12 February 14 February 17 February 19 Port Charlotte
Red Sox February 12 February 14 February 17 Fort Myers
Tigers February 14 February 18 Lakeland
Twins February 13 February 14 February 17 February 18 Fort Myers
Yankees February 14 February 15 February 18 February 19 Tampa

2017 Cactus League Reporting Dates

Team Pitchers & Catchers First Workout Position Players First Workout Location
Angels February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Tempe
A’s February 15 February 19 Mesa
Brewers February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Maryvale
Cubs February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Mesa
D-backs February 13 February 14 February 16 February 17 Scottsdale
Dodgers February 15 February 16 February 20 February 21 Glendale
Giants February 13 February 14 February 16 February 17 Scottsdale
Indians February 12 February 14 February 16 February 18 Goodyear
Mariners February 14 February 15 February 18 February 19 Peoria
Padres February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Peoria
Rangers February 15 February 21 Surprise
Reds February 13 February 14 February 16 February 17 Goodyear
Rockies February 14 February 20 Scottsdale
Royals February 14 February 15 February 17 February 18 Surprise
White Sox February 14 February 18 Glendale

MLB Baseball is around the corner which is a better sign that spring is coming than the two bit hack we call Punxsutawney Phil. Especially given the results of last night’s Super Bowl, I’m happier than Jon Snow and The Night’s Watch that winter is finally coming to a close. The New England Patriots are the goddamn White Walkers and I wish I had enough Valyrian Steel and Dragonglass to put an end to all of them.

Anyways, back to the point. Here are the current Vegas odds for the World Series and Pennants compared to their opening odds from back in October. It’s been a long offseason, with a good deal of old faces signing in new places, so I’m here to get you up to speed with which notable pitchers and catchers will call a new city home in 2017.

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Old Faces, New Places:

Chris Sale, LHP 

MLB: Chicago White Sox at St. Louis Cardinals

Chicago White Sox —-> Boston Red Sox

Perhaps the biggest splash so far this offseason, the Red Sox acquired Chris Sale for 4 prospects, including Cuban slugger Yoan Moncada. Vegas has reacted by making the Red Sox one of the favorites to win both the AL Pennant and World Series.

Jason Hammel, RHP

Chicago Cubs —-> Kansas City Royals

Hammel started 30 games for the World Series champs last season but was unable to play during the postseason. He’s won 35 games over the past three years while maintaining a sub 4.00 ERA. He’s a solid and consistent #2 or #3 starter.

Aroldis Chapman, LHP

USP MLB: NLCS-LOS ANGELES DODGERS AT CHICAGO CUBS S BBN USA IL

Chicago Cubs —-> New York Yankees

The Yankees shipped Chapman off on a 2-month loan essentially and they got their fireballer back for 5 years.

Brett Anderson, LHP

Los Angeles Dodgers —-> Chicago Cubs

Anderson had a solid 2015 campaign for the Dodgers, helping them make it to the NLCS. He unfortunately was only able to make 4 appearances this past season with an arm injury, so Chicago is hoping that he can bring back some of his 2015 magic.

Clay Buchholz, RHP

MLB: Tampa Bay Rays at Boston Red Sox

Boston Red Sox —-> Philadephia Phillies

Not necessarily the biggest factor over the past couple of years, Buchholz is still a household name that will now try to find his feet in a new city. He was sent to the bullpen in Boston last year, but he may be able to find more success in the National League this season.

Sergio Romo, RHP

San Francisco Giants —-> Los Angeles Dodgers

Perhaps the most sought-after setup man on the market, the LA Dodgers were able to scoop Romo up. Romo has a career 2.58 ERA, 142 holds, and 84 saves.

Tyler Thornburg, RHP

Milwaukee Brewers —-> Boston Red Sox

Another sought-after reliever, Thornburg actually kicked Brewers closer Jeremy Jeffress out the door last year with his efficiency. Only taking over the closer position with about 2 months left in the season, Thornburg posted a 2.15 ERA with 13 saves in 67 games.

Brett Cecil, LHP

Toronto Blue Jays —-> St. Louis Cardinals

Brett Cecil was probably the best left-handed reliever available. From 2013-2015, Cecil had an ERA under 3.00. Last year, it was 3.93.

Bartolo Colon, RHP

Bartolo Colon

New York Mets —-> Atlanta Braves

Despite being 43 years old, Big Sexy just signed a $12.5 million deal to go to Atlanta. Mets fans hate to see ol’ reliable go, but that’s a steep price to match for a team that has a heavy influx of young guns chomping at the bit.

Mark Melancon, RHP

Washington Nationals —-> San Fransisco Giants

Despite losing their 8th and 9th inning guys, the Giants gained one of the best closers in the game in Mark Melancon. In 75 games last year, Melancon recorded 47 saves while posting a 1.64 ERA.

Wilson Ramos, C

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Washington Nationals —-> Tampa Bay Rays

Wilson Ramos had a career year out of NOWHERE last year. Fresh off of a .229 season, Ramos shocked the world and hit .307 with 22 HRs and 80 RBIs in 2016. He became a real threat but unfortunately battled some injuries throughout the year.

 

 

 

As you can see, multiple star-caliber pitchers (and one catcher) have either signed with or been traded to teams all across the league. The first pitch of the regular season is still many weeks away, but we’ll at least be able to get to watch some up and comers don the latest and greatest revolutions in MLB uniforms:

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Once again, I have nothing to say regarding the Super Bowl and I am counting down the milliseconds until I can watch Noah Syndergaard take the mound again.

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