As a New York Jets fan, the Super Bowl never brings me joy. I drown myself in special edition bud light bottles and buffalo chicken dip while I pray for the next David Tyree to emerge and dethrone Tom Brady as the King in the North. I halfheartedly watched the Super Bowl year after year, until XXXVIII showed 9-year old me a whole new side of the big game. Name a more iconic halftime duo, I’ll wait.

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Not only did Super Bowl XXXVIII live up to it’s XXX name, it opened my eyes to the production that is the halftime show. I’ve had the pleasure of watching Prince, Bruce Springsteen, The Black Eyed Peas, Bruno Mars, and Coldplay over the past few years. I’ve also had to suffer through Madonna (before she became a national security interest) and months of ‘Left Shark’ memes after Katy Perry’s performance.

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But, there’s a hidden gem in Super Bowls that I wish I had uncovered years ago to help combat the disease I call being a Jets fan; prop bets. And ladies and gentlemen, today’s your lucky day. I’ve done the deep digging needed to ensure that we all come out of Super Bowl Sunday as winners.

*Quick disclaimer that these lines will move throughout the week and vary from site to site.

How Long Will it Take For Luke Bryan To Sing The National Anthem?

Over 2:09 -120

Under 2:09 -120

Luke Bryan sang the national anthem in 2:27 at U.S. Bank Stadium this past August. He took 2:13 at the FarmBorough Festival in 2015. He took 2:12 at Madison Square Garden in 2014. I’m hammering the over. There’s no doubt in my mind that Luke Bryan holds a note or two longer than usual on one of the world’s largest stages.

What Will Luke Bryan be Wearing?

Blue Jeans -200

Anything Else +150

If you look up what Luke Bryan wears during his performances, he usually dons a black hat and blue jeans. 9 out of every 10 pictures will reveal that. I’d reckon he sticks with his guns and wears the usual.

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Lady Gaga’s Hair During The Halftime Show

Blonde/Yellow -500

Brown +600

White +800

Pink +1500

Purple +1800

Blue +2500

Blonde is the favorite here for obvious reasons. Lady Gaga’s last big performance was at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Here is one of her various Instagram posts from that night. Blonde as can be. In fact, she hasn’t posted a picture of herself donning any hair color but blonde since May 7th, 2016. However, this will be a situation to monitor, as all it takes is one rash decision for us to lose this bet.

Lady Gaga’s First Song At The Halftime Show

The Edge of Glory -105

Bad Romance +135

Poker Face +1300

Just Dance +1500

Applause +1700

Born This Way +2000

Paparazzi +2500

Field +500

This is a tough bet to make, given that Lady Gaga recently came out with her fifth album, Joanne, in October. However, halftime performers tend to lay off their recent songs to play their bangers. And don’t get me wrong, Gaga has some BANGERS. I’m man enough to admit it. I won’t go out of my way to play her music, but if Just Dance “accidentally” finds it’s way into my playlist, I’m not gonna not listen to it….twice.

Anyways, Gaga most recently performed in London in December. She began with Bad Romance during both of her shows. In 2016, she performed Bad Romance the second most often, behind one of her new songs, Million Reasons. All it takes is 10 seconds of that song to realize that it’s not Super Bowl quality. Bad Romance is the safe pick, given her history, but I’d keep an eye on Born This Way as well. Lady Gaga is a very vocal member of the LGBT community and may use this opportunity to send a message.

Will Lady Gaga Be Shown on the Stadium Roof?

Yes +210

No -300

This is another tricky one due to the wording. ‘Shown’ could mean that they air a prerecorded segment, or even create a fake roof scene with some fancy dancy CGI or something. It basically boils down to whether or not you believe that Lady Gaga can upstage this:

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…by getting on top of this.

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I think that if there’s a will, there’s a way, and Lady Gaga seems to be adamant about getting up there.

Will Lady Gaga Have a Wardrobe Malfunction? 

Yes +1500

No -5000

Toss up. Lady Gaga has shown much more for much less. She’s a part of the whole, “men don’t have to wear shirts, why do I?” movement, but I feel like the NFL and Pepsi might keep that under control. Or, just toss a couple bucks on yes and keep your eyes peeled for a XXXVIII sequel.

Will Lady Gaga Say “Trump” at any Point During the Halftime Show?

Yes +250

No -350

A rumor was circulating that the NFL told Lady Gaga to keep our President’s name out of her mouth. The NFL quickly shot that rumor down. Gaga went on to wear an anti-Trump shirt out in public the next day. It’s no secret that Lady Gaga is not a fan of President Trump, so I truly believe that she’ll throw in a not so subtle dig at him, similar to Beyonce’s shot at the police last year.

Will James Harden Appear in a Commercial?

Yes -200

No +155

I did a little investigative journalism and saw that neither Adidas nor Foot Locker are sponsoring the Super Bowl this year. Those are Harden’s biggest sponsors. During Super Bowl 50 last year, James Harden appeared in a Taco Bell commercial. My inside source also revealed that Taco Bell pulled out of sponsoring this year. No commercials featuring James Harden this year.

How Many Super Bowl Commercials Will Peyton Manning Appear in?

Over 1.5 -380

Under 1.5 +275

Will the NFL’s golden boy, fresh off of retirement, as well as the reigning Super Bowl champ be in more than 1 commercial? Of course. Pencil him in next to Eli as free money. I got the over early at +100, but even at -380 I love it.

Will Any Player Do the ‘Dirty Bird’ Touchdown Celebration?

Yes +130

No -160

This is the Dirty Bird. Made famous by Atlanta RB Jamal Anderson in the 1990s, the Falcons have brought it back. As friend of the program Peter Griffin once said, “ba-ba-ba-bird-bird-bird, bird is the word.”

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Will a Player Leave the Game and Not Return Due to Concussion-Like Symptoms?

Yes +120

No -150

There were 167 concussions sustained throughout 256 regular season games this year. That’s nearly 2/3 (65%) of all games. The NFL has hired unbiased and unaffiliated concussion spotters and doctors to question and test players that they believe may have suffered a concussion. It’d be a shame for a player to miss the Super Bowl due to a concussion, but player safety has become the league’s top priority (allegedly). Given the history of New England Patriot receivers, it is always possible that one of their little shifty guys will get wrecked across the middle. History is on your side if you bet yes.

Will Michael Vick be Mentioned During the Broadcast?

Yes +270

No -430

Will the most electric Atlanta Falcon of all time, the guy who revolutionized the Quarterback position be mentioned during the Super Bowl? Absolutely. If Matt Ryan has a somewhat decent scramble, there will be a slew of references and maybe even a montage of him breaking ankles. I also wouldn’t put it past the Falcons to invite Vick on their sidelines for support.

Number of Times “Deflate Gate” is Mentioned

Over 2.5 +280

Under 2.5 -450

For the love of God, don’t even mention it once. It’s more probable than not that I don’t care about this anymore. I think that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman know that too, and will keep it down.

Will Joe Buck or Troy Aikman Reference the Game’s Odds?

Yes -115

No -115

Our friends Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are not Al Michaels or Brent Musburger. The latter duo don’t even hide their references anymore, saying things like, “and that touchdown means more to some than others” or, “this game is finally OVER.” The closest that I’ve heard Buck or Aikman get to making a gambling reference was at the end of the Giants-Redskins Week 17 matchup. Joe Buck wondered aloud what Al Michaels would say during the zany ending of the game in which the field had to be cleared for the Giants to kick the XP despite the game being over.

What Color Will The Gatorade Shower Be?

Clear/Water +300

Lime/Green +300

Yellow +300

Orange +300

Red +500

Blue +750

Purple +1000

Dan Quinn was doused with yellow Gatorade after the Falcons’ NFC Championship game victory. Bill Belichick was hit with blue Gatorade (and then yellow) after his Super Bowl 49 victory. Green is a preposterous flavor to drink during the Super Bowl, so I’d rule that out immediately. I like either red or blue in an upset here. Both teams have red in their colors, and the Patriots historically have gone the blue route. It more or less boils down to which team you think wins the big game.