As you all know, I recently supported Ted Cruz’s meme attack on Deadspin. Well, it appears that Deadspin’s editor-in-chief, Tim Marchman felt personally victimized by Teddy Cruz and challenged all of his supporting cucks to fight in the UFC Octagon.

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Having thrown hands once or twice in my life, I jumped at the opportunity to fight in Lyin’ Ted Cruz’s honor.

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As I sent my terms of agreement to Tim, I saw that he questioned my brass by not sending him an email! He also accused me of not being able to do a pushup. Well, joke’s on you Tim, I earned the Presidential Physical Fitness Award in high school.

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So, I did what any honorable man would do, and sent Tim Marchman an email.

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Tim Marchman is a coward. It has been three hours since I emailed him, and I have yet to receive a response. I’m now questioning Tim’s brass, as he hides behind fake profile pictures on his own site, his Twitter, and his LinkedIn. For someone to beg and plead for pageviews and emails and then not follow up on any reponses is a cowardly move.

For now, we wait. But I have a new public enemy #1 and I’m going to roundhouse his ass.