Meet Bill…..or Steve.
I never really got his name, because we did not speak, because he was clearly asleep.
This is beautiful. So let’s take a closer look at how this man’s day is broken down:
- 6:00am – Wakes up
- 6:10am – Runs through the shower and puts on his wrinkled suit for the fourth time this week while his wife yells at him to put on a pot of coffee
- 6:45am – While he is just about ready to walk out the door, his three kids wake up for school and make his life a living hell
- 7:00am – He finally gets out of the house and on the bus for the first peace and quiet of the day
- 7:45am – He walks into his office and takes a seat at his desk
- 7:46am – The first coworker he sees asks him about the Bachelor and he’s immediately frustrated
- 8:30am – He walks into his morning meeting and spills some coffee on his $12 Costco dress shirt
- 9:00am – Leaves said meeting and goes straight to the bathroom
- 9:30am – Finishes his shit and finally gets back to start his day
- 12:00pm – Two 24 year old dudes ask him if he wants to come with them to get a salad for lunch. He hates salad but wants to seem cool so goes.
- 12:15pm – Grabs a bag of Doritos out of his desk drawer because he can’t stand eating leaves.
- 12:20pm – Back to work.
- 3:00pm – Gets an email from his Boss that he is leaving early for his sons high school basketball game so he has to stay late to cover.
- 4:00pm – Gets pissed off again once another young coworker asks him if he watched the Bachelor.
- 5:00pm – His computer freezes and he loses all of his day’s work.
- 6:00pm – Applies for new jobs on his phone in the bathroom.
- 8:00pm – Finally leaves the office.
- 8:02pm – It is now raining and of course he doesn’t have an umbrella because it wasn’t raining when he left his home.
- 8:10pm – Gets onto the bus and falls asleep – THIS IS THE ONLY TIME HE HAS HAD TO HIMSELF. IT IS BEAUTIFUL . WE CAN RELATE. WE ARE HIM. HE IS US. (pictured above)
- 8:45pm – Walks into his house, dinner isn’t ready, his wife is smoking a cigarette in the kitchen, his youngest wrote on the wall in marker, his middle child is sexting in the bathroom, and his oldest is smoking weed in the backyard while listening to Bon Iver.
- 10:00pm – The Knicks lost their 27th game in a row and Melo looked fatter than ever.
- 10:30pm – He goes to bed and his wife is snoring like a hippo.
- 11:00pm – He goes downstairs to sleep on the couch.
- 12:00am – He’s pissed because he was channel surfing, passed MSG Network by accident, and watched the Knicks lose again via Knicks Encore.
- 1:00am – Walks outside for a dart and hid dumbass son is still hitting a bong but this time listening to Skrillex.
- 3:00am – Finally falls asleep.
- 6:00am – Wakes up……
This picture is sad but beautiful. We are witnessing the best 20 minutes of this guy’s day. I can relate. You can relate. We can relate. God bless this man.
Sleep well Bill…Steve?
-Frank & Nags